Believe to Achieve

I could get on my soap box about depression, but you certainly don't need it. I, too, struggled all this summer with it and really only got out of it these last 10ish days!! Seriously. Worse than I have been for a LONG time. I wish I had a cure-all for it, but I don't. Getting on meds is usually the only thing that helps me. It still took a good 8 weeks of being on meds to pull me out this time and we'll see if it really stick this cycle or not. Hormones play such a HUGE roll!!! More than I ever realized before.

Good luck Julie. Just know there are more people out there suffering than you know. I'm always good for a chat if you need one. Hang in there and keep your appointments, it does get better...eventually.

Nice run despite the crap this morning. Oh, and yes I would agree it is a HUGE factor in your chronic pain. Especially if you can't sleep.

Celebrex has been wonderful for my chronic pain, just sayin.

I am so sorry Julie! :( Like Rachel I have been there and can totally relate....might be headed there again if this injury turns into something major.

Try to stay positive and get some rest. With your crazy work schedule it worries me so bad when you don't sleep on your days off. After you ladies get SGM out of the way I think we should schedule some nice long Saturday walks!

Lastly good run despite not feeling good. Who just runs a 6:23 mi when they feel like crap? You do because you are freakishly awesome.

i have thought about taking celebrex. what dose do you take?? I am worried about GI bleeding. I was put on one similar drug years ago and I got an ulcer from it so it worries me. ibuprofen doesn't touch my pain AT ALL.

Rachel-- yah this has been really sucky....all my runs (including pocatello marathon) felt forced-- I had to make myself "feel happy" by cheerleading my running group. My periods stopped several months ago and I really think this is a really big issue for me with no estrogen or progesterone-- I feel no Umph to my stride. I even can be easily made to cry at the drop of a hat or if someone at work snubs me. I am usually tougher than this... when I was a teenager it lead me to think about suicide but now that I am an adult I don't have the same thought patterns and at least I have the gospel in my life to lift me-- all though post partum blues made me forget that reality for a while too. But honestly I don't due well on meds so I am afraid to take meds that may add fuel to my depressions fire--- I was on lexapro after I had my third baby for about 10 months. Oh and I tried effexor (that made me sweat a lot and my HR to soar). I think maybe I should try the lexapro again. What do you take? I think my serotonin levels are next to nil. I haven't felt "good" on a run for a while-- except the one time trial 3 miler I did two weeks ago-- afterward I felt so happy I could do it but doing it was not so happy. I just don't want to EVER go to the SCARY hole that Depression can take you. I am pretty sure it has to do with menopause-- my mom and YOUNGER sister stopped their periods when they were 39!!! hot flashes etc.... DONE. I have been fortunate to last this long considering genetics. I have been told that it can be an autoimmune disorder that strikes the pituitary gland-- the maker of the hormones.

200 mg a day. ib does nothing for me either and what I like about cel. is its not a pain reliever just a strong anti-inflammatory which is what I feel my body does not take care of. I plan on only taking it the last 6 weeks of marathon training cycles.

I am on Prozac. Good ol' stand by. I have been in that deep hole these past 3 months. Irrational thoughts and bad patterns I haven't had in YEARS revisited. I will have to go into it sometime on a long run. When I don't have the energy to cry or worry about what kind of crazy you'll think I am when I tell you :)

I notice the week before my cycle is the worst time for me and the prozac doesn't seem to be touching the hormone issues when they come. They are taking me out of the hole in the in between weeks though, so I'm hoping each month that that week is better. This month will be a big test. I have a dr appt after SGM and hopefully the cycle was taken care of and she can just renew my script. We'll see.

IB tears up my gut! I took some Friday night before my Sat run and I believe it was responsible for my pop stop and my aching, yucky, sore, bloody gut the rest of Saturday. Yeah, Sorry TMI, but it was bad. I shouldn't have taken it, but I thought 9 hours would be enough lead time. Nope. Maybe I should jump on Josse's celebrex band wagon!

I am sure we have similar stories Rachel....I sure hope YOURS is NOT as bad MINE was. Celebrex...bandwagon time.... IB caused bleeding in Kim and my husband. I don't take it cause it causes painful spasms in my stomach/esophagus.

Celebrex can cause the same gi issues that in does esp. if you already have the issue. I don't seem to have them but I rarely took IB before so my gut wasn't exposed to that much before.

Julie, How the heck do you pull out these amazing runs when you are feeling so crappy? Despite how you are feeling I think St. George is going to be a good race for you!! Wish there was something I could do to help you feel happier!

Having a mad case of the blahs really does "suck o rama". I agree with what has been said above, I think this is an issue a lot of people deal with but don't talk about. I hope you feel better soon.

Carina-- I don't know-- about how I ran today but it just makes me worry that I will burn out in the marathon. I will work out my deal. It is chemical so I am sure that I am missing some correct synapsing to the brain...who knew??

Natalie- Yah talking openly about depression, true depression, saves lives---hiding it --burying your thoughts and not confiding in friends does not help. I once was in line at Cafe Rio last year and I heard a woman say to her friend---"i just don't get depression. it makes no sense at all. just be happy and stop being depressed." she went on and on saying she had never been depressed and it was somehow the fault of the person. she was very harsh in how she said it. I really wanted to give her a piece of my mind. Apparently she has never experienced loss of some sort. I think if I can sleep I will be MUCH better off.

Josse, I only take IB maybe once a month, if that! Do you think Celebrex would still do the same thing if I'm not really ODing on it like that? I'd like an over the counter anti-inflamatory I can take without risk of feeling like crap all day like I did Saturday!

Julie, Seriously?!? I hate to hear people talk that way. I would LOVE to just get over it or pray more or read my scriptures and have it go away! I could go into great detail, but like I said I will save it for a long personal run :) I KNOW I have a chemical imbalance in my brain/body that makes me feel this way. Because I've seen the difference between the two. It is night and day. Anyone that talks that way has never dealt with depression. I am always open to talking to people about it! I think it should be more openly talked about. Maybe then the stigma from people like that lady will go away if we do! I have 4 kids and I already see depression cycles in one of them. It is SO sad and sometimes I get really guilty feelings over giving him such a horrible disease. I wouldn't wish it on anyone! But, then that is mostly my disease talking to me :) So, I just love him and help him in the ways I know he needs to be helped right now, which isn't easy for me when I'm not doing well. Horrible cycle!!!

Anyway, off my soap box now. I just couldn't stand that comment about Cafe Rio idiot!

Rad I really don't know, celebrex is something that you have to take daily and get in your system to work.

All I know is I'm a lot happier not being in chronic pain:) pain=depression

I was very sick when I was pregnant, the whole 9 months, every time. I threw-up/dry-heaved every day, but the depression was the worst. I even had suicidal thoughts when I was pregnant with my first son. I felt so trapped in my body.

Towards the end of my pregnancy I wasn't as sick to my stomach as depressed. I would sit on the side of my bed in my towel after my shower for 30 minutes because getting dressed seemed too hard.

I was pregnant so I didn't want to take any medication for it either. It's only been in the last year or so that I even opened up completely to my husband about all the horrible thoughts I had, and he's a marriage and family therapist. I should have talked more about it and I didn't.

Now I just get the "blues" every once in a while. Sleeping regularly, eating right, and exercising, can basically cure it for me, so I know those things make a big difference. But real depression, not just the "blues," is another story. I think the Cafe Rio lady hasn't even had the "blues."

I'm like RAD, I could go on and on about this subject, but I'll end by saying that hormone therapy really helped my mom when she went through menopause. I agree with Josse that pain makes depression worse and also say that depression hurts. Take care of yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help.

Thanks for sharing Julie and Rachel and Josse. Seriously pain = depression = pain--- a vicious cycle. Julie-- I think the intense nausea when I was pregnant and the inability to eat (when food was a calmer before pregnancy) fueled my depression during pregnancy. That is why I only had three kids--- I was scared to death of that feeling of despair when I was supposed to be happy to be able to have a baby. The cycle post partum continues with the lack of sleep-- hence why I ALWAYS teach my moms on mom baby to "not try to be super woman and do everything all at once when they get home and to sleep when the baby sleeps". I really appreciate you sharing your story Julie as I always figure it is greener on the other side but finding out that all of us have been through difficulties helps strengthen one another :D

Julie E, I think that is the one thing that people don't get about depression. How hard each tiny little thing seems. You KNOW getting dressed isn't hard, but it is just SO overwhelming to your brain. My first trigger is when I don't want to go to bed because it is too hard to go upstairs, take out my contacts and go to bed. I resonated with everything you said in your post (head nodding while reading and all!). It is hard to talk about while it is happening, because you know they aren't rational or normal thoughts and you don't want anyone to help you or talk to you about it. You can fix it yourself :) I think the more we talk about it the better it will be for everyone in the long run! But, it took me 4 years of counseling and medication to get to that point!

I'm glad you finally got some sleep Julie C!